The Telephone Song
by Mimmzie
Summary: Sherlock can't stop texting John. Established Johnlock.
1. Hey nr 1

John. -SH

John. -SH

John. -SH

Sherlock, I'm working. -JW

John. -SH

John. -SH

What do you want? -JW

I love you. -SH

Love you too. Now stop bothering me. -JW

* * *

Just ask him, little brother. -MH

He deserves something special. Roses, chocolate, balloons, the like. -SH

But he wants you, Sherlock. I might not be a fan of goldfish, but I'm glad you found yours. -MH

Stop being the smart one, Mycroft. -SH

I am the smart one. -MH

* * *

John. -SH

John. -SH

Sherlock, please. I'm busy. -JW

I need to ask you something. -SH

Ask me later. I'll be home in an hour. And I love you. -JW

I know. -SH

I love you too. -SH

* * *

Geoff, I need your help. -SH

Sorry Sherlock, but you've got to do this on your own. Can't help. -GL

Mycroft told you? -SH

Did you expect any different? -GL

* * *

John. -SH

I'm sitting right next to you, Sherlock. -JW

I'm aware. -SH

Why are you texting me? -JW

Why are you texting back? -SH

Don't try to dodge the question. -JW

No reason. -SH

You are Sherlock Holmes. You never do anything just for the fun of it. -JW

I'm watching TV for that very reason. -SH

We're watching this because I wanted to. You already know the butler did it. -JW

It wasn't the butler. It was the housekeeper. -SH

Of course. -JW

John. -SH

Sherlock, stop it! What do you want? -JW

I need to ask you something. -SH

And you can't ask me in person? -JW

No. -SH

Now I'm curious. What is this about? -JW

Will you marry me? -SH

Now, before you turn me down, I'm sorry that I couldn't ask it any other way. You deserve so much more, but I couldn't do it. I tried, I even came up with a whole scenario, how I would kneel in front of you and show you this ring I bought and ask you, but I just couldn't. -SH

Yes. -JW

And I totally understand you don't want to, but - wait, what? -SH

I would love nothing more than to marry you. -JW

Really? -SH

Yes. -JW


	2. Hey nr 2

John. -SH

Come at once if convenient. -SH

If inconvenient, come all the same. -SH

Sherlock, I'm at work. What is it? -JW

It's important. -SH

My break is in ten minutes. I'll be there. -JW

* * *

John. -SH

John. -SH

John. -SH

I'm still mad at you. -JW

It was an emergency! -SH

Being unable to decide between six or seven layers of cake is not an emergency. -JW

Everything about our wedding is an emergency. -SH

Christ, Sherlock, I thought something had happened to you, that you were in trouble! You made me yell at one of the nurses because she tried to talk to me while I was rushing to you! -JW

Really? -SH

Yes. The only thing I could think of was losing you because I couldn't make it in time. -JW

I just feel like we need to start making decisions, and Mycroft told me that the cake is the most important part of the wedding. -SH

I love you so much. -JW

But don't think for even one second that you're forgiven. -JW

* * *

He's still mad at me. -SH

He is not mad, little brother, just a little frustrated. He was really worried about you. -MH

You are not a wise, all-knowing man, Mycroft. What makes you think you know what John's thinking? -SH

He came to talk to me. Well, scream, actually. He has quite a temper sometimes. -MH

He does that. -SH

Apparently I only see this wedding as a way to get more cake. -MH

His words. -MH

Do you? -SH

Who knows. -MH

* * *

John. -SH

Sherlock. -JW

I'm really sorry. -SH

I know, it's fine. Now come over here and cuddle me. -JW

Gladly. -SH

But I still don't know whether you favour six or seven layers of cake. -SH

Sherlock... -JW

Not the right time? -SH

Not the right time. -JW

* * *

I miss you. -SH

Miss you too. I hate not being able to fall asleep in your arms. -JW

We can't see each other before the wedding, John, you know that. -SH

I thought only brides believed things like that. -JW

I'm not taking any chances. -SH

Mycroft was right when he said that you are the girl in this relationship. -JW

My brother said that? -SH

Yes. -JW

I just want this marriage to succeed and us to be happy. Does that make me a girl? -SH

No. We're on the same page. -JW

Good. -SH

Mycroft just walked in and threatens to confiscate my phone if I don't stop texting you. I love you, John, but I don't want the British Government to have my phone. I need it. -SH

And not everything on it is exactly, what do you call it, legal. -SH

I'm just going to ignore that last comment. I'll see you tomorrow, and I love you. -JW

I love you too. -SH


	3. Hey nr 3

John? -SH

Do you still want to go through with this? -SH

Of course! You're not going to leave me at the altar, are you? -JW

I just don't understand. You could do so much better. -SH

I don't want better, or worse. I want you, Sherlock, because I love you and you love me. -JW

People will talk. -SH

They already do. You think they don't know, with they way I look at you? -JW

This is official. This is real. -SH

I like real. We'll be fine, Sherlock, I promise. -JW

(picture attached) By the way, you look very handsome. Sheets do have their appeal, but nothing suits you like a suit. -JW

Mycroft. -SH

Please don't kill him. I don't want a murder investigation at my wedding. -JW

* * *

I can't do this. -SH

You love John, don't you? -MH

Of course I do. I wouldn't have asked him to be mine forever if I didn't love him. -SH

Then you can. Sometimes, caring is an advantage. Weddings are an excellent example. -MH

What if he doesn't want to marry me anymore? What if he stops loving me? -SH

John loves you, Sherlock. He wants this just as much as you do. -MH

He does? -SH

Yes. Now straighten up, walk down this aisle and marry him. -MH

* * *

I saw a tear. Did Sherlock Holmes, the man without feelings, cry? -JW

I do have feelings, John. I love you, for instance. -SH

That you do. -JW

And I love you too. I can't believe we actually did this. -JW

Now we only need to survive this party. Care for a dance, husband? -SH

I'd love to. -JW

* * *

John? -SH

Yes? -JW

There is a little something I need to ask you. -SH

Ask away. -JW

You're not John Watson anymore, you're John Holmes now. -SH

That's not a question. -JW

Obviously. -SH

You always end your texts with 'JW'. -SH

Still not a question. -JW

Shouldn't you end your texts with, I don't know, JH? You know, John Holmes? -SH

You're adorable. And Mycroft is right, you are the girl. -JW

John! -SH

I like the sound of it, John Holmes, JH. -JW

I just want people to know that we are together. -SH

And the holding hands and the kisses and the wedding rings and you not leaving my side do not give it away? -JW

Not obvious enough. -SH

Everybody knows we're together, Sherlock. You texted all of our friends the minute I kissed you. -JW

I want the whole world to know. -SH

I don't text the entire world, you know. I mostly just text you. -JW

Dear John, it would make me, your husband, unbelievably happy if from now on, you would sign your texts with 'JH'. -SH

Well, Sherlock, I need to think about it. -JW

John. -SH

Don't give me that look. -JW

Please? -SH

I'm so whipped. -JH

I like it. -SH

I like you. -JH

We're married. -SH

I know. -JH


End file.
